God Is Disappointed In You
Written by Mark Russell. Art by Shannon Wheeler.
God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible…if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, each book of the Bible (Old and New) is condensed down to its frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate, core message. Irreverent yet faithful, it’s a bible for all of us who yearn to see past the fog of religious agendas and cultural debates to hear what God really thinks.
For the Book of Job, God and Satan sit at a bar…. “Care for a little bet to make things interesting?” says Satan as he leans over to the Big Guy.
The Book of Samuel chronicles the prophet Elisha’s confrontation with a group of boys who had made fun of his baldness; in retaliation for this act of childish rudeness, Elijah summoned up a team of wild she-bears who mauled all of the boys to death. Nobody knows why Elijah didn’t just summon up a whole head of hair.
The Three Wise Men use GPS; Samson asks Delilah for ‘just a trim’ as extra punishment for Adam and Eve, God made them parents; the Book of Proverbs reads like a Kenny Rogers album full of advices about life, money, and love; and Moses delivers the Ten Commandments as a memo titled ‘Re: A Few New Rules.’
Cutting to the heart of the matter and often all the way down to the funny bone, Mark Russell modernizes every single biblical moment allowing the wild, weird and wonderful essence of the Good Book to shine through. Reminding us that the Bible has a lot of excellent lessons that are packed into a series of absolutely ridiculous folk tales that are, in and of themselves, not great to build a worldview around especially when conveniently ignoring the ever present overarching theme – Do unto others as you would have done unto you. God is Disappointed in You isn’t here to crucify Christianity, it’s here to resurrect it.